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Parenting Teens With Love And Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood, Updated and Expanded Edition, by Foster Cline Jim Fay
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From the Inside Flap
The real world doesn't operate on punishment. It operates on consequences. Teens must never be allowed to think that the consequences of their poor decision will be "Mom and Dad will get angry." They should be thinking of the natural consequence of their actions. Whenever we lay something on a teenager that doesn't happen in the real world, it's a punishment and not a consequence." from Chapter 8, Ready, Set - Off into the Real World “Parenting Teens with Love and Logic helps us stay connected to our children while we watch them grow strong and independent. It is a gift to all of us who want to enjoy the incredible process of watching our children become respectful, responsible, and resilient adults." --Bob Sornson, Ph.D., Author of Creating Classrooms Where Teachers Love to Teach and Students Love to Learn, coauthor of Meeting the Challenge and founder of the Early Learning Foundation “Parenting Teens with Love and Logic empowers parents by providing them with the tools and skills to handle each mistake with respect and embrace it as a learning opportunity. This respectful attitude assists teenagers in becoming responsible adults while maintaining a positive healthy parent/teen relationship." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic provides parents with a wide variety of the necessary skills to set behavioral limits, encourage decision-making, and teach their teenagers the essential social skills to function in the adult world." --Paul Gasser MS/LMFT, Marriage and Family Therapist-Mayo/Franciscan Health Instructor-University of Wisconsin-Platteville "Society poses any number of challenges as teens struggle to acquire a sense of worth, understand the value of personal responsibility, and develop healthy relationships. I have worked with students and their parents for years, and Parenting Teens with Love and Logic has provided a consistent framework that well prepares adolescents for their imminent adulthood." --Dave Funk, parent and educator, Author of Love & Logic Solutions for Kids with Special Needs and coauthor of Teaching with Love and Logic
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From the Back Cover
"The real world doesn't operate on punishment. It operates on consequences. Teens must never be allowed to think that the consequences of their poor decision will be "Mom and Dad will get angry." They should be thinking of the natural consequence of their actions. Whenever we lay something on a teenager that doesn't happen in the real world, it's a punishment and not a consequence." from Chapter 8, Ready, Set - Off into the Real World "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic helps us stay connected to our children while we watch them grow strong and independent. It is a gift to all of us who want to enjoy the incredible process of watching our children become respectful, responsible, and resilient adults." --Bob Sornson, Ph.D., Author of Creating Classrooms Where Teachers Love to Teach and Students Love to Learn, coauthor of Meeting the Challenge and founder of the Early Learning Foundation "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic empowers parents by providing them with the tools and skills to handle each mistake with respect and embrace it as a learning opportunity. This respectful attitude assists teenagers in becoming responsible adults while maintaining a positive healthy parent/teen relationship." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic provides parents with a wide variety of the necessary skills to set behavioral limits, encourage decision-making, and teach their teenagers the essential social skills to function in the adult world." --Paul Gasser MS/LMFT, Marriage and Family Therapist-Mayo/Franciscan Health Instructor-University of Wisconsin-Platteville
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Product details
Hardcover: 320 pages
Publisher: NavPress Publishing; Updated, Expanded edition (May 3, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1576839303
ISBN-13: 978-1576839300
Product Dimensions:
6.2 x 1.2 x 9.1 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
369 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#7,066 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Well, if you have a good kid at home and were just looking to this book for some advice to help along the way, this is not the book for you. There is a lot of drug, alcohol, and police involvement with the kids in this book. If that is where you are in life with your teenager, it could be helpful. I shut the book and rolled my eyes for the final time when I came to the chapter that said they do not agree with using punishments. At all. For anything. Then asked me to read the ridiculous "logic" behind this reasoning. The book is incredibly outdated. Mentions of Steppenwolf and cruising main street, no social media or internet mentions with your kids at all. So, for today's kids, not too helpful. Just really not for me.
As a pediatrician and mother of two adolescents, I read just about every parenting book out there. This was the first one I actually had to stop reading when I reached the chapter on talking to your teen about sexuality. The authors suggest that discussing safe sex sends a message to our teens that we are encouraging them to have sex (“This kind of emphasis (discussing contraception) tends to shove teens into it rather than present them with healthy alternatives (abstinence)â€). This argument is about as stupid as saying that forcing your teen to wear a seatbelt will encourage him to drive recklessly! They then go on to discuss how “darn venereal diseases (really?! I haven’t heard the word “venereal†used in about 25 years!) have wiped out entire cultures.†(Apparently, the editor forgot to edit for historical AND scientific accuracy.) Even more disturbingly, they suggest that there is “disagreement on the etiology of homosexuality,†and describe it as an “orientation†that “teens move toward.†They tell parents that “homosexuality may be the ultimate test for parents of whether they can separate acceptance of their children from approval of their lifestyle,†as though homosexuality is a choice teens make. We already have a high rate of suicide amongst homosexual teens. The last thing we need is so-called “experts†telling parents that they should “accept†their teen’s “lifestyle†even though they disapprove. Teenagers KNOW when their parents disapprove. What they need is to know that their parents love them unconditionally and understand that this is who they are, not a “choice†they’ve made.
Has been very helpful with addressing issues with my 15 son who until I read this book I had not realized his skill at getting what he wanted through manipulation- he is a good kid but my reactions have taught him all wrong- this is helping me help him grow into a young man & hopefully the best he can become. I am coupling this with counseling for myself & mentors of others. I am a believer that change starts in us.
Using this has changed our relationship with our daughter. No more fighting and her success or failure are her responsibility, not ours. We're here to guide her, encourage her and answer her questions. No more nagging, begging, discipline that punishes the whole family. We told her our relationship with her is far too important to continue down the path we were headed.
Great book. Especially effective for strong willed teens. Full of good reminders such as, be on his side. Don't say things in a way that invites a challenge. Allow your child to experience logical consequences. Full of teaching followed by good examples and answers to questions. Would recommend for parents struggling with teen rebellion or parents of preteens looking to get a headstart.
I found this book to be practical and helpful, easy to read and easy to apply to my life. I needed immediate help and I felt like I got it. I probably need to read it a couple more times, and I feel like it would be helpful to have a support group or at least another parent to help share ideas and hold me accountable. It would be better done together, which is why they offer workshops. But for working moms like me, downloading it on the fly onto my device was the best I could do and I thought it really pointed me in a different direction and helped me break out of old, negative patterns of parenting that simply weren't working. I highly recommend Love & Logic for parents of any age children.
Absolutely the BEST parenting book available today! It goes way beyond gaining incredible parenting skills...and truly helps you master having healthy relationships with ALL people including, kids, family members, co-workers, and even yourself. I highly recommend reading it several times, as each time you will gain more insight and hone your relationship skills.I actually purchased several books for my staff to read to gain insights working with at-risk youth. And they too said it was the BEST book they had ever read on relationships, so much so, that most of them bought their own copy of this book. All in, this book makes parenting MORE FUN, helps eliminate parent-child manipulation, and teaches how to impart healthy responsibility at every age. In my opinion, EVERY adult should read this...the entire world would benefit.
Absolute BEST parenting book I've come across today. We have to roll with the times and this book has helped me understand my child and how it's different raising teens today vs. just 10 years ago (because I've done that too).... Highly suggest - especially during challenging years.
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